"Fine" - This is the word women
use at the end of any argument
when they feel they are right but
can't stand to hear you argue
any longer. It means that you
should shut up. (NEVER use "fine"
to describe how she looks. This
will cause you to have one of
those arguments.)
"Five minutes" - This is half an
hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game
is going to last before you take
out the trash, so women feel that
it's an even trade.
"Nothing" - "Nothing" means
something and you should be on
your toes. "Nothing" is usually
used to describe the feeling a
woman has of wanting to turn
you inside out, upside down, and
backwards. "Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will
last "Five Minutes" and end with
the word "Fine."
"Go Ahead" (with raised
eyebrows) - This is NOT
permission; it's a dare! If you
mistake it for permission, the
result will be the woman will get
upset over "Nothing" and you'll
have a "five-minute" discussion
that will end with the word
"Fine."
"Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows) -
this is NOT permission, either. It
means, "I give up" or "do what
you want because I don't care."
You will get a raised eyebrow
"Go Ahead" in just a few minutes,
followed by "Nothing" and "Fine"
and she will talk to you in about
"Five Minutes" when she cools
off.
"Loud Sigh" - This is not actually a
word, but is still often a verbal
statement. Very frequently
misunderstood by men. A "Loud
Sigh" means she thinks you are a
complete idiot and wonders why
she is wasting her time standing
here and arguing with you over
"Nothing!."
"Soft Sigh" - Again, not a word,
but a verbal statement. "Soft
Sighs" are one of the few things
that some men actually
understand. It means she is
momentarily content. Your best
bet is to not move or breathe in
the hope that the moment will
last a bit longer.
"Oh" - This word, followed by any
statement, is trouble. Example;
"Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I
talked to him about what you
were doing last night." If she
says "Oh" before a statement,
run, do not walk, to the nearest
exit. She will tell you that she is
"Fine" when she is done tossing
your clothes out the window, but
do not expect her to talk to you
for at least two days. ("Oh" as the
lead to a sentence usually
signifies that you are caught in a
lie). Do not try to lie more to get
out of it, or you will get a raised
eyebrow "Go ahead," sometimes
followed by acts so unspeakable
that I can't bring myself to write
about them.
"That's Okay" - This is one of the
most dangerous statements that
a woman can say to a man.
"That's Okay" means that she
wants to think long and hard
before deciding what the penalty
will be for whatever you have
done. "That's Okay" is often used
with the word "Fine" and in
conjunction with a raised
eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she
has had time to plan it out, you
are in for some mighty big
trouble.
"Please Do" - This is not a
statement, it is an offer. The
woman is giving you the chance
to come up with an excuse for
what you have done. In other
words, a chance to get yourself
into even more trouble. If you
handle this correctly, you
shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
"Thanks" - The woman is
thanking you. Don't faint and
don't look for hidden meaning.
Just say "you're welcome."
"Thanks A Lot" - "Thanks A Lot" is
dramatically different from
"Thanks." A woman will say
"Thanks A Lot" when she is really
ticked off at you. It is usually
followed by the "Loud Sigh." This
signifies that you have hurt her
in some callous way. Be careful
not to ask what is wrong
SmileAlex 2011-07-29 20:11:51
